Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
