i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
