did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
