I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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