help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
