got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
