Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize