Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
