By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
