I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
