Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
