I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
