She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
