I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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