You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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