The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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