Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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