I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
