Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
