Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
