Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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