Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
