if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize