it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
