At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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