I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize