we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize