They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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