i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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