tell your sister to shave her snatch
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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