just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
