I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
