kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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