Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
