your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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