omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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