I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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