so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
