kristin has been a bad kristin
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
