How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We left the knife in your bed.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
