I got chris browned last night
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
