I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
