like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
