Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
