she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
