No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
