im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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