she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
its not stalking. its research.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
