are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
