idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
