remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
