Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
