How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
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He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
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Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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