why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
