come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
