Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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