Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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