The maid of honor just puked.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize