Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
