guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
