Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
