I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
